Growing into Me with Bipolar

Confused


Ok, so a week ago, my therapist made a comment.  A little one, that was just slipped in.  I didn’t actually register it at the time.  It was later, after I’d got home, bits of the session were floating about in my brain and i was resorting them again.  And this one kept drifting back over and over.

It was that she had casually slipped in that we no longer qualify as DID.  I sat with this for a whole week, until this week’s session.  And I said it our right at the beginning–had I misunderstood?  Am I really not DID anymore?  How does that work?  How do you go from being DID, and then one moment you’re just not DID anymore?

Her answer was that from what she observed, I no longer act as separate personalities, but rather as one ‘blended’ personality.  She said she does see parts of all of them, but they are now blended together with me, the one who fronted.  So, I guess that means we are ‘integrated’, and I guess it also means there is no ‘we’ anymore, just ‘I’.  It is strange, because I don’t really feel any differently. This is going to take a little getting used to.

Image

Advertisements

Comments on: "Confused" (6)

  1. Hi Kat, did you do any integration work in therapy? Did you ask her how can you be integrated if you didnt? Just curious as I dont know how someone would manage to go it alone and get integrated. Is that what you were hoping for as your goal? If it is, congrats! XX

    Like

    • ya, it was kinda the goal, lol. but it just seems that ‘we’ were ‘we’ one day, then the next ‘we’ are now ‘i’. its ok that i have integrated, i just didn’t know it had happened. no, we didn’t really do any integration work, just a lot of EMDR (so maybe that is where we did integration work?) and we have processed lots of memories and feelings. maybe that’s how this has happened.

      Like

  2. hey Kat
    I’d be asking lots of questions. For us the integration process is quite painful. I asked G about it and she said it has been like that for all of the dissociative persons she has worked with. Hope you are well and have a good festive season.
    ferals

    Like

  3. I know little of DID and could be completely wrong here, but I would feel that to become “integrated” surely must be a conclusion you as an individual reaches. To be told you are no longer the same person as you thought you were yesterday seems a little odd. However, in saying that, perhaps the Therapist was planting a seed. If she’s right, then well done you for coming so far. I haven’t known you long enough, but appreciate just how difficult that process must have been.

    Hope you’re having a peaceful Christmas

    Like

    • that is a really good thought—planting a seed. she has been known to plant seeds, so that very well could be her strategy here. and that makes more sense, too, than saying i have went from being DID to not being DID in such a short time.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

Dearest Someone,

Writing about wellbeing

smilebe4tears

Keeping positive in a unforgiving world when you are different.

Killing Me Softly: Emotional & Psychological Abuse

Now that physical abuse is in the limelight and punishable by law, abusers have resorted to more insidious forms of control. The effects are just as destructive, more enduring, and more difficult to overcome.

Therapy Bits

Living life with dissociative identity disorder and complex ptsd

Brighton Bipolar

Adult Survivor of Child Abuse and Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Working towards ending the stigma of Mental Illness

Seachy Waffles On. A chronic way of life!

The ups and downs of 21st Century life as a disabled dad. This is an honest account of my successes and failures and what I have learnt from them. How my disability has shaped my future, my neverending journey towards acceptance and a little bit of sarcasm and humour along the way. I have been battling Chronic Pain for 14 years and have made small steps towards living life again. I'm not after sympathy or pity, but I hope to encourage others and get a few words of encouragement myself along the way. Life is for living, pain or not make the most of things!

The Rheumatic Roller Coaster

The ups and downs of life with chronic pain, fatigue and depression

Indisposed and Undiagnosed

the invisible illness

All Things Chronic

Painkills2@aol.com

..Kicking Strokes Ass In Words..

Rambles, verses, poems from a stroke survivor ...

takingthemaskoff

Addiction, Mental Health, Stigma, Spirituality

Things I Learned In Therapy

a blog for posterity.

The Invisible Scar

raising awareness of emotional child abuse, its effects on adult survivors & the power of words on children

Many of us

Living life with dissociative identity disorder and complex PTSD

Precious Things

The path to healing is not a yellow brick road...

GreenGrowsDark

Mental Health Awareness

BlueHero

An anxiety and depression blog

The Bipolar Codex

Kate McDonnell: Art, design and bipolar disorder

The Demons Of My Insane Sanity

WE ARE THE AUTHOR OF OUR OWN LIFE: SO LET'S MAKE OUR STORY ROCK! – S.L.EDAGO

My Minds Inside, Living with D.I.D

I am a young Female who is diagnosed D.I.D, and PTSD, welcome to my world.

Many of us's blog

Living life with dissociative identity disorder and complex PTSD

My Travels with Depression

A journey through therapy

wrongwithlife

The immeasurable terrors of her mind...

suicidalsupergirl

saving the world, one malady at a time.

Bipolar For Life

Memoirs of a Wounded Healer

Top 10 of Anything and Everything!!!

Animals, Gift Ideas, Travel, Books, Recycling Ideas and Many, Many More

A Canvas Of The Minds

A unique collaboration of different perspectives on mental health and life

%d bloggers like this: