Growing into Me with Bipolar

I Know When I’m Beat

OK.  So, I will stop the losing battles.  I will stop trying to make the kids clean their rooms and their bathrooms.  I will stop trying to make the kids do their laundry, and hang it up.  I will stop trying to make them rinse their dishes and put them in the dishwasher.  I will stop trying to tell my son not to go to the church he wants.  I will stop trying to make my daughter tell me what is really going on with her, and stop trying to make her accept my help.  I will stop riding them about their homework.

Yes, I will no longer have any expectations at all for either of my teens.  That should decrease the number of arguments and disagreements at least by 3/4!  And, I am no longer going to try to tell them they have been at so and so’s house too much and need to take a break.  No sir!  I officially no longer care what they do.  The only rule from here on out is to be home by city curfew.  If they aren’t, I will call the cops.  That is now the only official rule.

I wish they were gone already, then I could be too.  I’m so tired of this unforgiving, unyielding life.  Even the thing I love most in the world, the thing that has kept me alive for so many years, is now turned upon me.  Now, I have nothing.  No reason to go on, except that they won’t leave yet.Image


Comments on: "I Know When I’m Beat" (5)

  1. Please dont give up. You are loved. We value you. Your kids cant see it but maybe in time they will too. I hope they do. You are an amazing and kind person. And thank you from us for always being there for us lately when we write. XX


    • thank you so much. i know i just need to get past the emotions, and look at it with a clear head, from a different perspective. its just so overwhelmingly hurtful at first. but im more clear now.


  2. Honestly… this just cracked me up because it’s you and every mother who’s been in the pitch that feels like this. It’s like you have to keep a mental memo that you’re just not going to get it right… and they need that… maybe it’s a rite of passage for both sides.


    • i think you nailed it–it is a rite of passage for both. they are flexing new independence and concepts of self, i am learning to stop being in control of them and recognizing them instead of as a part of me, as a separate island nation.


      • here’s to today–so far. thinking of you, and wishing you all the best in the last days of this year, and in 2014, as well.



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