Growing into Me with Bipolar


So, okay.  I’ve been bitchin and moanin, and not doing anything to change it.  And I can now–do something that is.  For a long time, I was unable to do anything, but thanks to my great therapist A, I actually can change how I see things and how I respond to them.  And I also realized that my biggest trouble, the reason behind my triggers, is that I interpret things around me as a child would, and my behavior is based on that perception.  So, now, I see that I can start to understand things around me from an adult point of view instead, and that then, my behaviors will change.  And that doing this will free me from my triggers, my trauma.

This in a way goes along with my post on being a Sheep.  But while that post was bitter and hurt, I am now looking at  it not as a child, but an adult.  So, I am not being forced or coerced to be a sheep.  Instead, I am going to allow medical docs’ recommendations to not only be heard, but to be applied. So, if my doc thinks it is a better thing to change meds, I will give it a shot instead of becoming adversarial about it.  And if they think going to recreational groups and some therapeutic groups would be good for me, I am going to give it the old college try.  They may still be mistaken, but I will at least find out instead of being a child in a tantrum, denying anyone else can have anything useful to offer.

So, I am going to start going to at least one group at my clinic a week.  And I am going to allow them to guide me to different meds.  And I am going to lose all the weight I have gained when I started on lithium 6 yrs ago.  Maybe it will all be for naught after all, but maybe something will be helpful. But continuing on as a child will never change anything, so I have to start somewhere.

I have to say, I am excited and scared to death to start this part of my journey.  There are no parts of me, or my experience, or my knowledge that has any clue about how to be an adult.  What do ‘adults’ think like?  What do they see?  How do they interpret?  What is it like to be an adult in one’s own life?  But in the past, I’ve always winged it when encountering something new, and all of me always figured it out, sooner or later.  So, I guess that’s just what we’ll do now.

Advertisements

Comments on: "Everythings OK Now, Really" (3)

  1. Thats what we do too, is wing it. None of us are adults really, well there are a few, but most dont front. I am the dominant fronter, and I am only 19. I am glad your T is awesome…she reminds me of ours! XX

    Like

    • well, maybe this will finally lead to me ‘growing up’ at long last. maybe being grown up will make life easier? i hope.

      Like

  2. Wow, Kat! That’s big stuff you’ve got going on here! (BTW this is Laura from Bipolar For Life. I’m in my “other” blog right now, “A Runaway Life,” and for some reason WP is being persnickety about letting me change identities without logging out/logging in so I’m being lazy and just staying here. You can come visit me if you want to ;-)!

    I’m totally behind you on this, and I know how scary the idea of coming off Lithium is. I don’t know if I could do it…..not right now, anyway. I did do it for four years when I was living in Israel, where my shrink felt it was unnecessary and dangerous–everyone walks around dehydrated all the time because of the arid high desert climate and the incredibly hot sun that beats down all the time. I did OK–but just OK–and I chalk my OK-ness up to the fabulous support system I had there, and the immersion in spirituality that just comes with the place (Jerusalem). WHEN I go back, I might see if I can wean off again….

    And as for you, I wish you the BEST of health and happiness too ❤ ❤ ❤

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

Dearest Someone,

Writing about wellbeing

smilebe4tears

Keeping positive in a unforgiving world when you are different.

Killing Me Softly: Emotional & Psychological Abuse

Now that physical abuse is in the limelight and punishable by law, abusers have resorted to more insidious forms of control. The effects are just as destructive, more enduring, and more difficult to overcome.

Therapy Bits

Living life with dissociative identity disorder and complex ptsd

Brighton Bipolar

Adult Survivor of Child Abuse and Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Working towards ending the stigma of Mental Illness

Seachy Waffles On. A chronic way of life!

The ups and downs of 21st Century life as a disabled dad. This is an honest account of my successes and failures and what I have learnt from them. How my disability has shaped my future, my neverending journey towards acceptance and a little bit of sarcasm and humour along the way. I have been battling Chronic Pain for 14 years and have made small steps towards living life again. I'm not after sympathy or pity, but I hope to encourage others and get a few words of encouragement myself along the way. Life is for living, pain or not make the most of things!

The Rheumatic Roller Coaster

The ups and downs of life with chronic pain, fatigue and depression

Indisposed and Undiagnosed

the invisible illness

All Things Chronic

Painkills2@aol.com

..Kicking Strokes Ass In Words..

Rambles, verses, poems from a stroke survivor ...

takingthemaskoff

Addiction, Mental Health, Stigma, Spirituality

Things I Learned In Therapy

a blog for posterity.

The Invisible Scar

raising awareness of emotional child abuse, its effects on adult survivors & the power of words on children

Many of us

Living life with dissociative identity disorder and complex PTSD

Precious Things

The path to healing is not a yellow brick road...

GreenGrowsDark

Mental Health Awareness

BlueHero

An anxiety and depression blog

The Bipolar Codex

Kate McDonnell: Art, design and bipolar disorder

The Demons Of My Insane Sanity

WE ARE THE AUTHOR OF OUR OWN LIFE: SO LET'S MAKE OUR STORY ROCK! – S.L.EDAGO

My Minds Inside, Living with D.I.D

I am a young Female who is diagnosed D.I.D, and PTSD, welcome to my world.

Many of us's blog

Living life with dissociative identity disorder and complex PTSD

My Travels with Depression

A journey through therapy

wrongwithlife

The immeasurable terrors of her mind...

suicidalsupergirl

saving the world, one malady at a time.

Bipolar For Life

Memoirs of a Wounded Healer

Top 10 of Anything and Everything!!!

Animals, Gift Ideas, Travel, Books, Recycling Ideas and Many, Many More

A Canvas Of The Minds

A unique collaboration of different perspectives on mental health and life

%d bloggers like this: