I’m probably jinxing myself by even thinking this, but, throwing caution to the winds, I think I’m actually doing all right. I’m starting going to groups at my clinic this week (fingers crossed that no obstacles appear) and I’m going to be asking my Rehab Specialist at the clinic help me to get a part time job (under @720/mo-so I won’t lose my SSDI or Medicare/Medicaid). I really feel I am in a place where I can look forward to a day a work–finally. I haven’t even been able to picture myself trying to work since 2006. Before, just thinking about having to leave the house for any reason was so overwhelming that I have basically been a hermit. The only things I have really been able to get myself to leave the house for has been medical/psych appointments and grocery shopping. So, I think this new perspective is really amazing, where now I am not avoiding opportunities to leave the house, but am actively pursuing reasons to go out, and they are not overwhelming and scary now, but sound interesting/exciting/fun.
Well, unless I have jinxed myself by sharing this, I hope to finally start moving forward. Maybe, there really is recovery-at least enough to enjoy life again.