Growing into Me with Bipolar

Posts tagged ‘Vehicle insurance’

Some days, it just doesn’t pay to gnaw through the leather straps.


I really felt that I have been doing really well lately.  And that I have gotten a lot of positive steps taken on different goals.  For instance, I finally got (after a year of begging) my mental health clinic to send the documents needed by Voc Rehab so that they could help me get the education I need to get the job I want.  So, first, I’m actually thinking of going to school all day, every day, in the near future, and am not running and hiding under my bed when contemplating it.  And second, I finally got my case manager at my clinic to speak to the local Housing Authority, who after a 5 year wait, told me I was over the income limit by $400 annually–when over $2k of that was a one time payment my ex had to make toward child support just so he could be allowed to get his passport, which he wanted to use to visit his fiancee in China.  That payment will not be repeated, so why was Housing Authority including it?  They refused to tell me how to appeal their decision, buy my case manager finally got ahold of them, and now they say they will reconsider if I make my case in a letter.  So, I really feel that I have been able to be ‘healthy’ and ‘normal’ in dealing with this stuff, in getting the wheels rolling on these different tasks.

And then a month ago, my car was hit on the driver rear fender.  Ironically, at a church parking lot where my daughter was attending a birthday, by the pastor!!  Who didn’t even want me to report the accident.  Said he had a friend….um, yah.  So, his insurance determined he was 100% at fault.  But now they are saying my car is totaled, because the repair is more than the value of the car.  Well, for some stupid reason, Arizona (where I now find myself) forces all cars that have been totaled out by insurance companies to be given a ‘salvage’ title.  This means, they can not for any reason, be driven on any public streets or parking lots, etc. The only way to get the car on the roads again is to ‘do repairs’ and then provide receipts of such repairs to testing facilities who inspect the car to see if  1) it is safe and roadworthy, and 2) if repairs done as per receipts provided were done properly. Then you can get a ‘restored/salvage’ title, and drive it again.

My problem now is, the other insurance company won’t tell me how much my check is going to be, or how much my car is valued at, so I can determine what funds I will have if I keep it and try to go thru the ‘restore/salvage’ process, and, since the damage is only bodily, and I cant repair it because it is the whole reason the car has been totaled….will the testing facility even DO the tests if I don’t have receipts?  And if I DONT keep it, I need to have an idea of how much I’ll be given so I know what kind of replacement cars to look at.  So, here, I thought I have been doing so well, acting so normally and healthily.  I thought I was handling and controlling myself and my emotions.  Until I got so worried about this car situation, and decided to call my own insurance, thinking they would be more free with information than the other party’s insurance has been so far.  But I was wrong.  I called, I waited on hold 20 minutes, I got transferred to customer service/sales…where they perky young lady refused to tell me absolutely anything, not even in general terms, not even the basics, and transferred me back to claims…..where I waited 20 more minutes on hold before finally being (ironically, magcially) transferred to the actual same person who had initially handled my claim….except he was out of the office for the day.  So, as I found myself leaving a message for him, I suddenly teared up and could barely leave my name and number.

So, so much for thinking I might actually be ‘healthy’ and ‘normal’.  I guess, I just get to have those almost healthy and normal days to make me feel good for a minute, before I fall back into those much more common and depressing days that I have all the time…y’know, where I cry at the least frustration or explode into anger instead.  Where I can barely get myself to leave my house, to do the basics.  Well, I guess I shouldn’t have expected those ‘healthy’ and ‘normal’ days to last.  After all, I have got my own cushy spot all worn in in more typical and symptomatic days.

Crawling Back Up Again


Well, the free-fall spiraling down seems to have hit a plateau.  Now, to climb back out again and try to get back to where I was before this.  The immediate good news is my ex did end up giving us some cash to tide us over til the support check is finally released to me.  Of course, I had to sign a paper saying I would repay the cash amount when the support is finally disbursed.  But, whatever…So, I was able to pay the bills —of course,  I had to walk a 2 mile round trip to get to the gas station to buy the money orders (remember, I’m in the desert near Phoenix, so its already quite warm).  And I was able to buy food as soon as my car insurance was reinstated–which was yesterday evening.

I called DCSE (Child Support offices) but they wouldn’t tell my why they were not disbursing my payments.  They said the ex had to call, that it concerned him.  So, he did, just this past Monday.  Turns out, they only just got the memo that he was applying for a passport (he applied in January, met the requirements to obtain it, and has already been to China and back by March), and they hadn’t gotten the subsequent ones, so they thought he wasn’t allowed to go and so they for some reason decided it would be a good idea to make the children suffer for his wanting a passport by not paying it out to me.  So he explained he had already gotten his passport and done all the things he was required to do to get it, and had already been on his trip and returned, and that it made no sense to stop sending the money he is paying to his kids who are supposed to be getting it.  So they looked into it again, and VOILA!  Lo and Behold, there was absolutely NO REASON for them to be holding my disbursements of his payments for last 2 months and THEY DONT EVEN KNOW WHY THEY PUT A HOLD ON IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

So, basically, DCSE randomly decided to hold my payments for 2 months, even tho the ex was making the payments.  So, FOR NO APPARENT REASON,  DCSE almost got me and the kids evicted, homeless, and without transportation or food.  Actually, I still haven’t received my first payment.  They said Monday that I should have it by 5 days.  But I didn’t get anything so far, and its Saturday—6 days.   So, the ex is gonna have to call them back and demand they make a payment to me AGAIN!

Even though I haven’t got a payment yet, things are at least not getting worse.  I can drive again, and we have food and power.  So, at least that’s something.  I have decided to move to a 2 bdrm (me and my daughter will have to share one) so that then I will not be spending all my Social Security payment on rent.  Instead, I’ll have some left after rent on a 2 bed (as opposed to now, where I have none left paying on a 3 bed).  So, what I have left will pay for the things I can’t be in fear of not having–like power, water, phone, car insurance.  That way, if anything like this ever happens again with the DCSE/child support not being paid to me, at least we won’t be in fear of losing everything.  The basics will be guaranteed.  So, this means a new project–apartment hunting (again!) and moving (ugh!  again!).  Our lease is up August 8, so I want to sign or put a deposit on something in early July.    I’m really, really hoping that spending less on rent will ensure that the basics will always be paid, no matter what happens with the support money.  I really hope this move will end up being worth it, and not just another huge waste of time, effort and money.  again.

Oh, and just in case you start to get any ideas that things are looking up and no problems are on the horizon, I remind you that I am THAT PERSON who ALWAYS  has bad luck.  Yep, today my son’s car started leaking some fluid.  We tentatively think it might be coming from the gas tank (which I just had the entire fuel system and carb replaced, so it BETTER NOT be from the gas tank!) But whatever is leaking, it can’t be good.  Can’t be cheap, altho even cheap at this stage is exorbitant to me.  We are still functioning on the bare minimum of everything.  So, of course, we escaped being evicted only to jump into a new fire of care repairs (also, AGAIN!).

Many of the days since my last post were very, very close to being the last.  And I just wanted to post this so everyone will know I’m still here (for today, anyway), even tho things haven’t exactly righted themselves, at least we have stopped sinking (for the moment).  And thanks to those who lent me their support and words.

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