Growing into Me with Bipolar

Posts tagged ‘Filial piety’

A New Threat

It’s not supposed to be a threat.  It’s not supposed to even be a problem or an issue.  A person’s kids are supposed to follow in the parents’ steps, respect them.  I mean, I’m not asking for the whole filial piety thing, but maybe on a scaled down version it would be good.   I have poured social capital (the intangible resources that only those close and concerned can give to a youngling) onto my  kids since they were born.  I want them to be maxed out in terms of social capital.  The more of this kind of resources they have plus the tangible resources available to them, then the more opportunities for success they will have.

I love my kids.  I fill them with social capital.  I teach them to navigate the world around them and how to interpret it.  And I am not oblivious–I know very well that the teen years are the most tumultous, as they are the time when they begin to spread their wings, to practice take-off flights, to begin to change their worldview from what they have been taught, to something they have come to on their own.  Teenagehood is the time when kids rebel and develop their own beliefs, thoughts, ideas.

That being said, my kids were not supposed to start slowly pulling my worldview apart.  They were supposed to stay out too late, forget to call, lie about where they were going or who they were going with.  They were supposed to skip school to hangout with friends once in a while.  They weren’t supposed to tell me that my interpretation of how the world works, of how people behave, are up for debate, and that they are not going to be persuaded anymore by me.  They weren’t supposed to tell me that my perspective is too rigid, that I am judgmental.  Me!  and to hear this from my own kids, the same kids I have lavished my attention and knowledge and understandings upon.  It would be one thing if those who don’t know me, the real me, were to say these things, make these challenges.  I could ignore them with disdain, or embark on a philosophical wandering that eventually demonstrated my reasoning (I hope!).  But with my own kids, I certainly can’t ignore.  And when I try to explain and give them evidence that what I say is true (I think), they pull me apart at the seams and I find I am actually under some kind of an attack, that I am not explaining to them, I am defending.  Or I find my very character is being put on the block, and there is no defense I can muster.

I know they are teens.  I know they are practicing at being adults.  I know they are learning their own minds.  I know they will rebel, but it should have been with skipping school once in a while, or being late coming home, or sneaking out.  Those I am prepared to deal with.  But not this, not eschewing all that I am, all that I have poured into them, to help shape them and guide them into who they are now so they can succeed when they really do fly away from me.  I never saw this coming, not this way.

Tag Cloud

Dearest Someone,

writing through chaos


Keeping positive in a unforgiving world when you are different.

Killing Me Softly: Emotional & Psychological Abuse

Now that physical abuse is in the limelight and punishable by law, abusers have resorted to more insidious forms of control. The effects are just as destructive, more enduring, and more difficult to overcome.

Therapy Bits

Living life with dissociative identity disorder and complex ptsd

Indisposed and Undiagnosed

the invisible illness

All Things Chronic

Things I Learned In Therapy

a blog for posterity.

The Invisible Scar

raising awareness of emotional child abuse and offering hope for adult survivors

Precious Things

The path to healing is not a yellow brick road...


An anxiety and depression blog

The Bipolar Codex

Kate McDonnell: Art, design and bipolar disorder

The Demons Of My Insane Sanity


My Minds Inside, Living with D.I.D

I am a young Female who is diagnosed D.I.D, and PTSD, welcome to my world.

Many of us's blog

Living life with dissociative identity disorder and complex PTSD

My Travels with Depression

A journey through therapy


The immeasurable terrors of her mind...

Bipolar For Life

Memoirs of a Wounded Healer

Top 10 of Anything and Everything - The Fun Top Ten Blog

Animals, Gift Ideas, Travel, Books, Recycling Ideas and Many, Many More

A Canvas Of The Minds

A unique collaboration of different perspectives on mental health and life

%d bloggers like this: