i should never have said i was feeling the teensiest tinsiest bit better, a tad bit happy even. because after i spent a great session i went home and found out that the agency that will be providing behavioural health services to the state Medicaid beneficiaries has been changed effective April 1. OK, no so bad by itself. but the then the letter says since MI is going to now be providing all Medicaid people with mental healthcare, they decided it would also be more efficient (and allow them to more closely monitor their conditions) that they will force any people who are ‘SMI”, or Seriously Mentally Ill (basically if you are unable to really work a real job full time due to mental illness—and that is me—) all Medicaid mental health beneficiaries who are SMI will be forced to change their Medicaid insurance plan to the MI plan as well (the one that will be providing general mental health and SMI—if you are SMI, you will also be forced to use MI plan for all you PHYSICAL healthcare as well. If i am forced to change to their Medicaid physical health plan, then i will automatically be dumped from my Medicare plan since, it is a dual plan, meaning my current plan gives me all my Medicare and Mediciad physical health coverage. If i am forced to drop my physical Medicaid plan because I am SMI, then I will also be forced to drop my Medicare plan, and the only plan I will be able to get for my Medicare services would just happen to be, yes, you guessed it, the new MI plan. So, because my mental health care is categorized as SMI, and MI is now going to provide all SMI and regular mental health Medicaid services, I will be forced to change my Medicaid physical health plan as well. And, if I am forced to do that, then I will also be forced to drop my Medicare plan and again go to the MI plan.
I have seldom felt more raped, abused, beaten and whipped than I do right now. I no longer have choice of Medicaid physical health plans, I no longer have choice of Medicare physical plans, and it is all because I am listed as SMI instead of ‘regular mental health’. So, this insurance plan gets to force anyone listed as SMI to take all of their insurances, but those listed as general mental health get to choose their Medicaid plans and if they are on Medicare, they also get to choose that plan. But not us SMI–apparently since we are such a ‘sick’ population, we dont’ get the right of choice in healthcare, on insurance, rx, or on doctors. I will have to stop seeing all my doctors. All. And get all new ones covered by MI instead. Why should I be persecuted just because I have a more Serious Mental Illness than some? Why should my choice of insurance and doctors be taken from me? What will I do without my therapist? I have been working with her almost 3 yrs and I am just going to be forced to change within the next 6 mo. And i will lose my psychiatrist, my case manager, my nurse, not too mention all of my non mental health related providers.
Well, I shouldnt have talked about starting to feel better. I should have known something like this would come along. It always does. And now it has. And now i wish i never started to heal, to feel better, i wont win anyway. i wont accept what they say. and since i cant keep seeing my therapist, or any other providers, there is nothing for me to gain–only lose, i wont let them win by forcing me to take something i dont want instead, i wont roll over and play dead, i wont let them control me. so maybe i die,but they lose to. they wont make me say ‘thank you may i have some more’ either. they’ll see what happens when they try to take away control from the people they are supposedly trying to help. even one person refusing to be abused by them and dying will be enough to make the state take a look at what they are allowing MI to do underneath their very noses to the ‘vulnerable’ population they claim to be serving.