If It Wasn’t For Bad Luck, I Wouldn’t Have No Luck At All…

Ah, Cream…one of my favorite bands.  And they got it so so right in this song.  Although I wasn’t born yet when they wrote it, I think somehow they knew they were writing this about me.  I just found out I am being denied subsidized housing, after being on the list for 5 years, and after being in subsidized housing just 6 months ago (but had to move because of my ‘friend’, B, who had a stroke, and they wouldn’t let her move in).  So, in just 6 short months, they are now claiming that I am over the limit by $60/mo!! Yes, that extra $60 really makes a difference–I so don’t need any help with rent cuz of that big whopping $60 each month!  And just how much is that per year?  A ginormous $400 over the limit.  Wow!  I feel so glad to know I should be able to afford housing on my own because I have an extra $60/ mo.  I shouldn’t be bitching that my rent takes up 2/3 of total income.  I should be praising the subsidized housing gods for wasting 5 years of my life on empty promises, knowing that now I should have smooth sailing because I can afford to pay ‘normal’ rent, all because of the $60.  And what about my being in subsidized housing a mere 6 months ago, and now not qualifying?  Turns out the extra $400 a year is from one extra child support payment my ex made in Feb, because he wanted a passport to go to China to see his fiancee.  In order to get it approved, he had to pay extra to me just in case he didn’t come back.  So, my ex’s lovelife has torpedoed my shot at subsidized housing.  And the housing authority didn’t even care that the payment was a one time thing, that he won’t have to do it again if he travels,  that if you remove that one payment from my 12 month income, I would qualify and be getting help, just like I did 6 months ago.  I asked if I could appeal, and the so lovely and sympathetic (sarcasm) lady said no.  No, there is no appeal.  There is no having this issue brought to someone higher up.  This is it.  One extra child support payment and now I’m so fucking rich I don’t need assistance.  Yep, I can now easily afford to pay 2/3 of my income to rent, and the final third to bills and food.  Wow.  I feel great being so rich.  And get this, I now am still approved for food stamps, but the amount they give me each month is $0.  Wow!  I feel so blessed to be so rich.  I’m struggling more than people with $60 less income now.  Aren’t I fucking special?!  Now, I’m terrified they are going to take away my dual eligibility (If you’re poor enough, and you’re on medicare for disabled people, you also qualify to get the remainder of you medical expenses paid by the state medicaid program).  So, now I’m afraid they take my medicaid and I’ll end up having to pay premiums, deductibles, copays and 50% of all services rendered by medicare. Which I obviously can’t afford to pay, which would mean that even though I’d still have medicare paying half the cost of services, it would still be too expensive for me to go to my doctors, or to get my medications.  So, if they take my medicaid, I pretty much lose all insurance since I won’t be able to afford to use the remaining coverage.  Anyway, that’s the only benefit I still have that hasn’t been taken away (so far) because of $60.

So, ya, all that sounds fair, right?  and I should be tickled to be so rich, right?  And this is Good luck?  I don’t think so….But that’s my kind of luck, anyway, the kind that keeps on kicking you when you’re down.  Is it any wonder every time I try to pull myself up, I find myself kicked back down to the floor again?  No wonder I can’t ever get anywhere, improve my situation.  I’m destined to stay in the gutter no matter what or how hard I work to move up.