I’m Back, Pt. 1

Well to those of you who have followed me faithfully you’ll know I’ve been MIA for about a year or so.  I was just too down to write. It started slowly, just not wanting to write.  But the longer it went on, the harder it was to do anything, especially write about it.  I couldn’t even tell it was depression for the longest time because I wasn’t feeling sad or crying. I just wasn’t feeling.

In October last year, my son, (who has converted to Mormon) left on a mission to Chile, and in the following 4 days my daughter and I had a huge argument.  I don’t remember any of it.  She says I said some awful things and won’t forgive me.  She refused to stay at home and went to her boyfriend’s place. I checked myself into the hospital.

While I was in the hospital, for 3 weeks, she and her boyfriend lived in my apartment,being generally supervised by my friend and neighbor. On the day of my discharge, I came home to a tornado of destruction in my apartment, with clothes and laundry and personal items and things off of shelves all in a mix throughout the apartment on the floor, knee high. I became aware my daughter had moved out. The question was where.

I called the police as she was a missing person as far as I could tell.  3 days later I got an email from her saying she was at her dad’s in Oregon (we’re in AZ).I was home from the hospital for 3 weeks cleaning the apartment (yes, it took that long) and combined with the loss of my daughter I just felt the ground go out from under my feet again and ended back up in the hospital.